


Oh How I Wish (That Was Me)

by DarknessDaughter16



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, It's a sad story, the rest of the legends are also mentioned but don't actually appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 11:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessDaughter16/pseuds/DarknessDaughter16
Summary: Charlie knows she lost her forever. She could have made Zari happy, but she chose not to. Now Zari found someone else, and Charlie can't shake the thought of how she wished she was the one making her happy.





	Oh How I Wish (That Was Me)

**She takes your hand**

**I die a little**

**I watch your eyes and I'm in riddles**

**Why can't you look at me like that?**

 

She takes another sip of the bottle in her hand. At this point she can't tell how many of those she had. "Fuck it" she thinks. "One more won't kill me.”

\- Gideon, make me one more of these.

\- I'm sorry Miss Charlie, but Captain Lance as forbidden me to serve you anything apart from water.

\- Great. Just what I needed. A bloody nanny. - mumbled Charlie, trying to keep her balance.

Stumbling her way to her room she hears laughing.

 Her heart starts to ache. It’s Zari who’s laughing. The thought alone is enough to bring tears to her eyes.

It takes her a few minutes to realize Zari and her new girlfriend are walking the same direction has she is. Running to her room, she manages to prevent an awkward encounter with the two lovers.

Of course that doesn’t prevent Charlie from seeing how happy Zari looks.

How her eyes sparkle and her cheeks have a shade of red. How she caresses her lovers hand, and how she leans towards her when their walking. She used to do that to her. But not anymore. Not after all the shit Charlie has put her through.

 

**When you walk by, I try to say it**

**But then I freeze, and never do it**

**My tongue gets tied, the words get trapped**

**I hear the beat of my heart getting louder, whenever I'm near you**

She can’t pinpoint the moment she realized how she felt for Zari. Hell, their whole relationship is a fucking blur if she’s going to be honest.

She does remember the pain. The patience. The love. The attention Zari gave her all those times Charlie drank till morning, or when she hurt herself during a mission or even when she needed a friend.

How could she have been so fucking stupid? Zari was the best thing she had in her life and she just blew it away. Now all she could do was watch Zari be loved the right way. See her fall for someone who knows her value and makes sure she is treated like a princess.

Everyone on the ship tried to warn her. About her behavior. Her ways of dealing with Zari and her emotions for her. Mick himself had taken the time to smack her in the head and tell what a great woman Zari was, and how she deserved so much better. She should’ve listened to them. All she can do is miss the old good days, when they were together.

She has tried to apologize of course. But never managed to gain the courage to do so. All she needs is to see how happy Zari is, everything pauses and she forgets all she wanted to say. Her heart beats so fast and loud, she fears someday it might explode.

 

**But I see you**

**With her slow dancing**

**Tearing me apart 'cause you don't see**

**Whenever you** **kiss her,**

**I'm breaking,**

**Oh how I wish that was me**

It’s midnight. Everyone has gone to bed and is most likely asleep. At least, that’s what she assumes. But since karma is a bitch, of course Zari and her girl are awake and drinking tea. She tries not to make noises that could alert to her presence and hides.

\- Do you remember when we first meet? – asked her.

\- Of course. You were in the Bureau, doing your normal routine of checking on the inmates, making sure everyone was ok. Ava told us how you were friends with Mona and how you broke into the Time Bureau because, and I quote, “You couldn’t believe she had meet the one and only Nora Darhk”.

\- Can you blame me? That woman was possessed by a demon and still managed to survive. That is some other level shit!

Zari laughed at that comment. Her girlfriend had a weird obsession with Nora.

\- You know what I also remember?

\- What?

\- How I promised you a dance on our first date, but never got the chance to check it out.

\- What are you implying?

\- Gideon, could you please start playing “Love Me Tender” from Elvis Presley?

Zari laughed out loud. She still hadn’t told her all the stories she had with the legends. Meeting Elvis was one of them.

\- Are you serious right now?

\- Absolutely. Now, milady, could I have this dance? – spoke her girlfriend in a fake British accent

Zari laughed again, but took her lovers’ hand. They moved slowly alongside the rhythm of the music. Charlie’s heart broke. Zari had always told her how much she loved to slow dance. And now she was doing it. But with someone else.

 

**She looks at you, the way that I would**

**Does all the things, I know that I could**

**If only time, could just turn back**

**'Cause I got three little words that I've always been dying to tell you**

It was hard.

Day after day, Charlie watched Zari fall harder for this girl, knowing she could be in her place.

She could have made Zari happy. She could have made Zari smile. But no.

She had to go and screw this up. She didn’t had the time to tell her she loved her.

Because yes, Charlie loved Zari. As much as it pained her, she would never find anyone like Zari.

 

**But I see you**

**With her slow dancing**

**Tearing me apart 'cause you don't see**

**Whenever you**

**Kiss her, I'm breaking,**

**Oh how I wish that was me**

**With my hands on your waist, while we dance in the moonlight**

**I wish it was me, that you’ll call later on 'cause you wanna say good night**

Seeing how Zari would smile and laugh whenever that girl was around. Seeing how she would blush when someone mentioned the other. All the things Charlie could think of made her sad.

The thought of Zari being touched by that girl. The thought of someone else sleeping next to Zari or with Zari. Thinking that girl could make Zari moan and scream for her touches. All those things made her want to crash inside Zari’s room and tell her how much she regretted doing all those things that hurt her.

But it was too late. There was nothing else that could be done, besides accepting Zari had moved on.

 

**'Cause I see you**

**With her slow dancing**

**Tearing me apart 'cause you don't see**

**Oh how I wish, that was me**


End file.
